two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
