STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
