Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
