Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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