Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
