Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
