SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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