i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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