RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
