Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
