Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
