I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
