My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
