If that was your dad, he is hot
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
