Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize