so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
