Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
