White coat. Heels.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
