Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize