Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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