She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
