yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
