in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
