Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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