You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
