john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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