Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
