Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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