my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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