I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
