This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
