we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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