It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize