I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
