is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
