So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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