But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i now understand why vodka
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
