Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I look better un-naked...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
