ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
