Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
