Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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