Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
