He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
