toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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