shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
