brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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