I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
