would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
