I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
