I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
