After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
