i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and she was petting her beer can
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
