:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
