its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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