Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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