Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
