Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
