By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
