His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
