Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
