I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize