Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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