So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
